Next step forward..^_^

Assalamualaikum wbt..

uit uit..

hyep hyep..

n sewaktu dgnnye..

ari ni 9 July 2013

esk 10 July 2013

means 1 Ramadan..

wah, dah bulan Ramadan dah..

kejap jer..pejam celik pejam celik, nk masuk kali ke 3 ak smbut Ramadan kat cni..huhu

if org branak tu, ank dia dah leh jalan, berckap dah..(suka kaitkn peredaran msa dgn kelahiran ank..sbbnye baru nmpk jelas terang nyata yg masa tu dah lamaaaa berlalu..huhu)

well, dsbbkan Ramadan membuka tirai nye, ak pon telah buat keptusan by hook or by crook,I need to meet parent Mr Tedy b4 Ramadan.. maka terjadilah episod di mana ak telah mengumpul keberanian yg bukn sedikit utk berjumpa dgn parent dia..

d story now begins...

starting with planning dgn mak dia..at first his parent plans to meet me here, at KL..which means the mum n father will come to c only me..not without him..sbbnye diorg nk kenal ak, bukannye ank diorg..so, ak dgn penuh keberanian, OK, y not..dgn cerita yg si dia n adiknye taburkan kat ak tentang mak dia lg(of koz the story was not side on me)..what do u expect??butterfly in d stomach usah ckap la kan..but seriously, bile pk2 logik smpai bile kn??smpai bile xnk kenal..ello, awk nk kat ank dia, nk kawin dgn ank dia, sooner or later u'll meet them, whole family, gonna live with them, so lets move on!!itu lah antra kata pembina semangat y kian luruh hari demi hari..haha..(but seyesly, i was really happy bcoz akhirnye si dia berjaya bgtau parent dia about me..means dia start dah pk nk proceed to d next stage..tp sempat jugak la dia kutuk ak depan mak dia kn..hoho..)

then, after planning n planning using him as org tengah, last2 planning parent dia nk jupe ak kat KL xjd..sbbnye diorg nk meet on Friday..of koz la no kn, sbbnye mcm2 benda leh berlaku bila ari jumaat..first, Prof mmg free on Friday, 2nd, Friday ak terikat lg ngn waktu ofis hour..so, mcm xsedap ati pon ade..xnk la bile jupe mak dia tu, fikiran xtenang..so, I cant..then xjd la..so, xpe la..lam ati ak, ade rezeki jumpe la kami..mybe if jupe time ni, mak dia ade yng xberkenan dgn ak ke, mungkin..ade hikmahnye kn..=)

one month later..k weeks after, lupe dah..ak kata la kat alqaf, xleh jd ni..dah nk pose..nk raye lak tu..so, smpai bile nk bertgguh..feels like something not done yet..so, ak kumpul keberanian lg skali ckap la kat si dia yang i wanna meet his parent..n by myself..n kat melaka..at his hometown..senang crita..agpon mlake n Kl xde la jauh mane pon..nek bas 2 hours dah smpai dah..so, alkisahnye decide la cam tu..in two weeks time i'll meet his parent at Melaka..

google punyer google cam ne petua2 nk memikat or adab2 berjumpa dgn bakal mertua buat kali pertama>>ello, i do some literature k..ingt sibuk writing thesis n manuscript ja ka..sambil2 tu la..haha..well, ilmu kena ade beb, baru la nmpak kematangan n berkayakinan..so, dipendekkan cerita, ak nk penampilan ak nmpk xketerlaluan, sederhana(sbbnye first impression is d most important thing..agpon ak pn xde la keterlaluan lam fesyen ni..mybe xreti berfesyen senang citer.hehe)..pastu, ats bantuan k.suhana (colleague ak) berjaya la ak mencari blouse labuh tuk dipadankn ngn sluar slack..n tudung pkai tudung y sedia ade..jimat pon jimat..

berckap on phone at d first time make me to practice dulu dgn dedey..thanks to her that support me..hehe.. ramai senarnye kwan2 ak yg bg semangat..if not, mesti ak less courage dah nk berdepan ngn parent dia..kol mak dia for d first time to make a plan for a tomorrow meeting, ni disebabkan oleh si dia xleh join..tp mmg ak xharap pon dia akn join..sbbnye ak nk jumpa mak dia, bukan dia..n lg pon time ni dia ade aktiviti ngn kawan2 dia kat Kl..promise is a promise..understood..=)

bersua muka ngn mak dia buat kali pertamanye, berdebar2 perasaan..serba xkena..tp bile mak dia bg senyuman mesra, ak bertambah lega..tp seyesly ak byk diam gak r..mmg one of my weakness, ak xmcm kak ak yg mmg peramah ngn org tua..ak xreti nk berckap ngn org tua..n mak dia lak jenis observer, mmg agk kaku r ckit lam kete tu..oh ya, ktrg p mkn2, mak dia amik ak from MC tu bawak p Ayer Keroh..then, time ngah mkn2 tu la baru ktrg berborak mesra ckit..prasaan ak pon makin ok n leh la ajk mak dia berbual2..sal family ak, sal diri ak, sal si dia..n sal family dia..plus isu2 semasa ckit..seyesly next time i'll improve more..maafkan sy makcik sbb byk senyap gak..huhu..oh ya, btw, ayh dia xde..so ak jupe mak dia n adik bongsu dia ja..ayh dia ade urusan kat Kl..kitrg mkn n borak lam sejam lebih2 cam tu, pastu ak pon p tdo bermlm umh kwan ak..kat mlaka gak..

ini la etika pemakaian ak p jupe mak dia..ak suka sbb nmpak sopan n x tabarruj..^_^

Ok dah..tamat sudah episod crita ak berjumpa bakal mertua..pengajaran nye adalah:-

1. be urself..its d best thing to do..jgnla hipokrit..then, baru lah nmpak keikhlasan kamu..

2. tolonglah hanis, belajar cara berckap dgn org tua supaya xkekok sgt..huhu

3. dont judge a person from another person's story..sume y diceritakan tu xsume betul..hehe

4. just berserah kat Illahi..u've done ur best..n tawakkal jer la..

Then, markah ak??means komen dr pihak mak si dia adalah:-

1. dia bg greenlight!!yeay!!alhamdulillah..^_^

2. ak seorang yg tegas, ak akn usahakan smpai ak dpt benda tu if ak nk.

3. prangai ak sama dgn si dia dr segi tu (hal ini merunsingkan mak dia sbbnye takut if salah sorang drp ktrg meletopppp..huhu)- tp org kata klu takut dilambung ombak jgn berumah di tepi pntai..

4. leh proceed next step..hihi..alhamdulillah..

so, segala yang berlaku ni, terima kasih buat:-

1. We a.k.a ayh - bg kebenaran tuk ak jupe parent si dia. Adk syg We.

2. Si dia - give his full trust to me, n yakin dgn ak, n jual cter molek2 sal ak kat mak dia (even ad gak kutuk ak..hehe)..termasuklah adik si dia skali yg support kakak y xmatang nih..hehe

3. Parent si dia - sudi jumpa ak n berkenalan dgn ak n approve ak..^_^

4. Kawan2 - yang support, bg kata semangat, bg facilities, temankan shopping, temankan rehearsal n percaya dgn ak. luv u gurls..

ok, done for this diary like entry..errrmm..till next story..=)

silent heart...

Assalamualaikum wbt..

sometimes, apa yg kite harapkan kita xkan dapat..

tapi setiap apa yg berlaku,

Allah swt da tau kite mmg boleh hadapi nya..

sering kali cemburu dirasai..

melihat org lain memiliki apa yg kite xdpt miliki..

merasai apa yg kite xdpt rasai..

gembiranya diorg..

bahagianya diorang..

alangkah indahnya if kite juga dpt merasai nya..

dpt memilikinye..

tp..

sume tu impossible..

mmg xkn mungkin..

Allah swt da tetapkn da qada' n qadar..

siapakah kite nk melawannya..

memotivasikan diri..

optimiskn diri..

mengumpul serpihan semangat diri..

membina kekuatan hati..

supaya dpt bertahan..

supaya dpt mengorak langkah ke depan..

masih ada sinar kebahagian..

masih ada sinar harapan..

masih ada pelangi menanti di kala gerimis..

*kehilangan akan menyedarkan betapa beruntungnye kehadiran seseorg dlm diri kite..

Assalamualaikum wbt..

berhari2 entry ni lam ruangan edit, bilakah mau siap utk di post ni??aishh..Nis, rajinkn dirimu!!..hoho

setelah kisah sedih berlalu, pelangi memancarkn sinarnye..perghhh..sastera kah??

well, tersebutlah kisah seorg gadis ngah memujuk jejaka tersebut utk di bwa berjumpe ngn keluarganye..

setelah sbulan tempoh pujukan n sedikit bodekan, akhirnye jejaka tersebut telah membuat keputusan utk mnyetujui perancangan gadis tersebut..

TETAPI..

mlm sebelum gadis itu membeli tiket, dia telah mnyerahkn kpda jejaka tersebut utk membuat keputusan yg sebenar-benarnye kerana dia bukanlah seorg yg suka memaksa..dan dia juga telah redha sekiranya jejaka tersebut menolak planningnya..

BUT..

at last, jejaka tersebut setuju!!yeay!!ikut balik klate..hehe

then, cerita di rumah gadis tersebut??

perghh, too many story to tell, well for d summary je la k..nk lebih2 find my handwritten diary maybe..keh3

comments from gadis punyer family:-

1. We (which is d father) - most important person to tackle..but d personality of We is very protective, not too open minded(means to accept outsider)..so, of course he needs time..but from my sibling's point of view, jejaka tersebut dikira acceptable la by We..so, 3*** for u my dear..haha
2. kak (sibling) - she said ok la..sbb dia pandai bwak diri kat tempat org n dia pandai borak..but pa pe pon, awk yg nk kat dia, so ape pon plihan awk, kak sokong je..itu la kata2nye..hoho
3. kak long (sibling) - he's very good..k.long leh kamceng ngn dia..perghhh, a very green light from my sis..untunglaaaa..
4. mek jo (aunt) - well, "dia ok k dik ngn family kite??jd ke nk kawin ngn adik??" erkk??what??adakah dirinye patut risau atau diriku??terbalik la plak..haha..well, thumbs up for u en jejaka..well done in winning ati mak sdara sy yg plg rapat..hehe
5. mok su (aunt) - byk nau soklan si jejaka kena soal..mcm2..kalah pegawai penyiasat persendirian..nasib mu la whai jejaka oii..hehe..but des's something awk utang ngn mok su after kite ade ikatan, hope u r not forget k..=P, but well, u r just doing good, mok su pon da approve..=)

so, dats all dat i can share..mungkin lepas ni cerita si gadis k rumah si jejaka plak??ermmm..cant wait for dat(is it sarcastic??)..perghhh, nervous, butterfly in stomach..lalala~~

p/s: mekasih tuk awk sbb sudi dtg umh sy..very appreciate dat..=)

"Pemergian itu pasti"

Assalamualaikum wbt..its been a long time i didnt post any stories of mylife, so many things had happened n so many stories i wanna share..bad news n good news..

jam 500AM 26April2012, mama tercinta meninggalkn kami berlima sekeluarga..stage 4 of cancer, des's no other options, no other treatments dat the doctor 've to save her..there's nothing they can do..first time ak dengar y hospital not only mengubati pesakit but they also help pesakit from suffering till d patient die..like giving morphine??(some kind of medicine that help to release pain but ve' high impact such d patient will be in unconscious state)..

first time ak mngalami perasaan berada dlm situasi yg mana d death is so soon, pray to Allah that she died so that all d suffering will ending..its so hurt inside, went through d situation all over again..hospital, late night, crying, van jenazah, somebody dat was close to me, mandikn jenazah, ciuman terakhir seorg ank, tanam jenazah,and all dis thing happened again..but knowing dat its d only way of how d suffering will be ended, i'm grateful to Allah..

n knowing dat i can handle dis, i can go through this thing, i'm trying hard to keep on going..keep on building a strong heart..keep on believing des always reason, des always hikmah y its happen..

but i am grateful dat des someone always stand beside me n pray for me to b strong once again..

but sometimes ak terpkir adkah ak xlayak utk dpt kasih syg seorg ibu??tp ak cepat2 istighfar, setiap kejadian ade hikmahnya..jangn menentang qada' n qadar Allah..

cemburu bila kwan bercerita tentang ibu, how their mother treat them, cooked their fav food, hearing they stories about their crush, really make my tears rolling down..but its normal right??and i wish that my heart can stay strong, keep believing dats des always some treasure dat Allah had kept for me in spite of all this sad things happened..

i love my family..

Assalamualaikum n greetings..hi3..jrang skali post ak berkaitan ngn family..mostly sumenye mesti berkaitan ngn cintan cintun kn??aish, minah jiwang tul la ak ni (bley x ak nk salahkn minat ak suke bca novel since ak sek rendah??he3)..so, now kite kembali k topik asal, xtually ak nk cter sal family ak..for d first time kn??hi3

ak ade seorang ayah yg cerewet dlm bab mknan..hi3..dia xbape nk suka mknan yg ak msak sbb dia suke mknan yg susah nk msak spt gulai2, nasi2 special, n mcm2 lg masakan yg complicated utk dmasak..(sesungguhnye ak xkn cri lelaki y cerewet bab mknan sbb sy xbape nk pndai msak..sorry ye en suami sbb awk kena mkn msakan y simple j nnti..hi3)..tp he's d most my beloved family selain drp arwah mak ak..nk dijdkn kisahnye, bile usia kite smkin meningkat dewasa, smkin berfikiran matang, sikap org tua kite akn mnyebabkn kite berasa diorg berperangai mcm budak2..its like mcm kite ngah jga baby..adoi la..cute sgt ayh ak bile time tu..bleh gelak sorang2 ak dibuatnye..hi3..contoh kisahnye ialah, bila time ak melarang ayh ak minuman ade ais sbb dia ngah batuk time tu, tp dia degil still minum..then, esknye batuk dia mkin teruk..pastu ak suh la dia minum ais plak on dat day ngan niat nk perli, dia pon ngan selamber jwab jap lg la nk minum..cett bergurau la plak ayh ak tu..adoaiiii..puas den membebel but xpenah nk dgr ckap ak..ho3..tp kn, ayh ak ni jenis pendam sndri perasaan dia, dia xreti nk ckap dia syg kat ktrg, xreti nk luah..but he show it mcm tiap kali nk antar ak msuk universiti, mesti dia nk ikut, xkesahla time tu kena nek bas k, kena tumpang kete org len k..but he wants to send me by himself..cam tu jgaklah layanan dia tuk kak ak..pastu dia jenis sensitif, mudah sgt mengalirkn ari mata (one of d attitude i inherit from him..nasibla en suami, isteri awk ni mmg manje..hi3)..n seingt ak, tiap kali dia gaduh ngn arwah mak ak dolu, mesti dia akn ngalirkn air mata bukn mak ak..da terbalik da..arwah mak ak jenis tegar like my sis..hati kental..ho3..ak plak jenis sensitif, sekejap j da mngalir air mata belom lg masa ngah emo, lg laaa...ho3

conclusion of the story is, i really love my father..masa dolu2 sy akn anggap ayah tu annoying tiap kali gaduh but now when matured mind is thinking, feels like mkin hari mkin syg la plak..hi3..so, sygilah ibu bapa anda k..=)

second story is about my sis yg baru2 ni disahkn mengandung 2 bulan..yeay!!!i'm becoming aunt..euwww..mcm tua je aunt = makcik..so, my niece/nephew cannot call me makcik2 k..kol me CIKSU..ha3..cik ye..mgada2 kn??xpe la..yg penting name maintain muda..ha3..now d story is kak ak tu perubhan pregnant..upenye mmg teruk r perubhan emosi, xde la scary sgt cume xtersngka akn berubah lam sekelip mata cmtu..begini ceritanye(sorry kak, post ur story sat..he3..mintx kebenaran ni copyright), kak ak mengidam nk mkn roti canai di suatu pg nan indah, msa tu abg ipar ak ngah kije balik pg la..so, nk pesan la otw balik tu beli roti cnai but abg ipar ak tertido kat workstation bgn lam kul 11, mane nk ade roti cnai da time tu..pastu abg ipar ak kol kak ak, kata mcm xdpt beli roti cnai da, pastu kak ak kata xpe la..beli nasi je la utk lunch kn..bile dia balik tu dia bwak balik roti cnai panas, kak ak pon nangis, ak pon tnye la kak ak nape nangis..ingtkn sbb terharu dpt roti cnai upenye sbb xdpt mkn nasi la plak..dah expect dpt nasi but dpt roti cnai la plak..so, frust..hu3..tp dia nangis la kemudiannye sbb terharu abg ipar ak bwak balik roti cnai panas2, so terubat la frust dia tu..ha3..lawok2, sekelip mata leh berubah emosi..aduhaiii..diharap abg ipar ku bersabar melayani perangai kakakku..keh3..

so, moral of d story is, bile sang isteri ngah pregnant, akn berlaku perubahan hormon y amat drastik yg mane akn meng"effect" segala benda dlm bdan sang isteri termasuklah emosinye..so, diharap para2 suami dpt bersabar melayan kerenah isteri yg mngada2 tahap dewa time ngah pregnant..lebih2 lg kandungn y first..ho3

pengajian kasih syg..

erk??ttba rs pelik bile diriku rajin nk menulis entry tuk 2 hari berturut2..xtually dis is post of information(gaining from experience)..so, ak tulis seringkas yg bleh k..memana xphm or xpuas ati, sila post d bhgian comments k..huahaha

pembelajaran cinta buat diriku:-

1. cintai pasangan kite skrg, bukn psangan kite yg dlu..maksudnye, if dia ade ex- tau berperangai teruk dlu, dia da berubah k..terima dia seadanye di waktu dia skrg, jgn ter influence dgn perangai dia dahulu..let b gone b by gone k..put ur trust a little bit in him..hu3
2. komunikasi is very important, talk to him..whenever u feel something wrong is going on wit ur relationship..mybe some of his words will calm u down..
3. respect his decision, there's some reason y he decided on dat..so, kena saling tolak ansur k..giv n take..it is not possible if u r talking in cara berhemah n berhikmah..bijaksana dlm perhubungn k, not only in ur studies..he3
4. then, jgn terlalu gelojoh dlm perhubungn..means??jgn pk bukn2 k..ish2..maksud ak, jgn terlalu impatient, nk kn komitmen je..asyik gesa si dia nk tu, nk ni..nk jupe mak ayah la..nk kawin laa..n bla2..mmg it is good in islamic way, but if he did not have d courage to do it, jus b patient..doa byk2 smoga jodoh berpanjangan n klu bleh jgn la lakukan perkara2 yg mengundang k arah maksiat..hu3..jus b patient..insyaAllah, if dia ditakdirkn tuk kite, mmg kite akn bersama dgn nye jugak..(xtually dis is for myself..hu3..now i realize it, so now i am struggling to be patient..huahaha)

some tips for d guys:-

1. gurl is complicated = a happy woman is a myth..every successful man has a woman behind him n every unsuccessful man also has a woman behind him (from en Tedy)..ha3..it's true if u guys think dat way but seriously not all gurl like dat k..gurl think emotional but guys think rational??is it true??sometime mybe but not all times k..=P
2. gurl is forgetful = u need to remind her every day that u r being serious wit her..she will always forget dat u r love her..then, she'll think bukan2 n start not trusting u..(dis is dangerous state..hu3)..
3. gurl never know wat r u thinking till u tell her..ktrg bukannye nujum nk tafsir2 pe korunk pk..so, the most perfect way is u must tell her..plsss tell her wat was ur feeling...=)
4. gurl is lying about her own feelings..when she says she's alrite, dat doesn't mean dat she's ok but she's pretend she is ok..so, as a guy who is i love wit dat gurl, u olls kena la tau mcm mane nk baca hati dia k..xpecially if u oll cter about ur ex..of coz she is pretending to be not care about it..hu3
5. gurl is ..next time i'll continue..he3..

ok done, yg mane ak rs nk tmbah, lenkali ak edit post nih..huahaha..

just a simple song but full of meaning..

just wanna dedicated this song to my special one..=)

kau mau apa, pasti kan ku beri

kau minta apa, akan ku turuti

walau harus aku terlelah dan letih

ini demi kamu sayang

aku tak akan berhenti

menemani dan menyayangimu

hingga matahari tak terbit lagi

bahkan bila aku mati

ku kan berdoa pada Illahi

tuk satukan kami di syurga nanti

tahukah kamu apa yang ku pinta

disetiap doa sepanjang hariku

Tuhan tolong aku tolong jaga dia

Tuhan aku sayang dia

aku tak akan berhenti

menemani dan menyayangimu

hingga matahari tak terbit lagi

bahkan bila aku mati

ku kan berdoa pada Illahi

tuk satukan kami di syurga nanti

(Tuhan tolong aku juga jaga dia, Tuhan aku pun sayang dia)

aku tak akan berhenti

menemani dan menyayangimu

hingga matahari tak terbit lagi

bahkan bila aku mati

ku kan berdoa pada Illahi

tuk satukan kami di syurga nanti

doa panjang jodoh..

Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang……

Ya Allah…
Seandainya telah Engkau catatkan…
Dia milikku, tercipta buatku…
Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku…
Titipkanlah kebahagiaan antara kami…
Kukuhkanlah ukhwah Islamiyah kami…
Agar kemesraan itu abadi…
Ya Allah…
Ya Tuhanku yang Maha Mengasihi…
Seiringkanlah kami melayari hidup ini…
Ke tepian yang sejahtera dan abadi…
Istiqamahkanlah kami ya Allah…
Demi meneruskan perjuangan kami dalam medan dakwah yang penuh cabaran ini…
Moga putra-putri kami bisa menjadi muslimin dan muslimat…
Pendokong jamaah, penggerak Islamiyah…
Tetapi ya Allah…
Seandainya telah Engkau takdirkan…
Dia bukan milikku…
Bawalah dia jauh dari pandanganku…
Luputkanlah dia dari ingatanku…
Dan peliharakanlah aku dari kekecewaan…
Jika aku gagal menangkis kekecewaan itu…
kuatkan lah hati ku Ya Allah..
Pelihara dan mantapkankanlah imanku…
Moga kekecewaan itu tidak melaghakn diriku dan menjauhiMu…
Ya Allah ya Tuhanku yang Maha Mengerti…
Berikanlah aku kekuatan…Menolak bayangannya jauh ke dada langit…
Agarku sentiasa tenang…
Walaupun tanpa bersama dengannya…
Ya Allah yang tercinta…
Pasrahkan aku dengan takdir-Mu…
Aku redha dengan segala ketentuan dari-Mu…
Inilah ujian buatku…
Sesungguhnya apa yang telah Engkau takdirkan…
Adalah yang terbaik untukku…
Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Mengetahui…
Segala yang terbaik buat hamba-Mu ini…
Ya Allah…
Cukuplah Engkau sahaja yang menjadi pemeliharaanku…
Di dunia dan akhirat…
Dengarkanlah rintihan dari hamba-Mu yang daif ini…
pandulah ak k jalan yg benar,
jalan yg Engkau redhai, Janganlah Engkau biarkan aku sendirian…
Di dunia ini mahupun di akhirat..
Maka kurniakanlah aku seorang pasangan yang beriman…
Agar aku dan dia sama-sama dapat membina kesejahteraan hidup…
Sama-sama dapat terus bergerak di dalam Jamaah Islam…
Andainya sudah ditakdirkan buatku…
Pendokong Jemaah bukan jodohku…
Mantapkanlah tarbiyahku…
Agar aku mampu membawanya bersama melalui liku perjuangan ini…
Sama-sama berusaha mendaulatkan Islam…
Ke jalan yang Engkau redhai…
Dan kurniakanlah padaku keturunan soleh dan solehah…
Yang pastinya menjadi aset utama penegak syiar agama-Mu…
Ya Allah …
Redhakanlah perjuangan kami…
Berikanlah kami kebahagiaan di dunia dan akhirat…
Dan peliharakanlah kami dari azab api Neraka…

Ameen…ameen Ya Rabbal a’lameen

alhamdulillah..all things was alrite..(i'm happy..)

     tarikh keramat 10 ogos 2011..tul k keramat??keramat la kot bg ak..ha3..after a long long time waiting for an answer, at last ak tau jugak perasaannye..all my waiting was became to an end..he confess to me..walaupun unexpected but seriously i'm damn happy..ha3..cannot say with a word..u know dat when ur confession is not one sided??u lov him n he also lov u??tu la org kata, cinta tu satu perasaan yg xleh digambarkn dgn kata2..hihi

      but i once had read a novel that when its said in d ending like dis "the princess n the prince then live happily ever after", before this i think dat all d problems and obstacles are settle and they all live happily ever after which means that their story was ended. but now, after i had read that novel, the ended of their sorrow is just a beginning for another sorrow..it means dat the life will not just ended like dat..there's lots of another stories..ended dis story, begins new story..our life is not a fairy tale, jus accept that..=)

it just depend on us how to handle it..either handle it with care or jus smashed it to the wall..as u know dat heart is fragile thing..ha3

     another thing that realize about guys is they dont like to talk about their feelings..(xpecially my Mr.Tedy)..seriously, its very hard to understand them..so, truthfully some of my behavior may really hurt his feeling but i didnt know dat..but when it comes to me, i will confess to him if dat des something hurting my feeling..if not, i felt something is not rite n mula la episod moody bermula..ha3..(but really poor to him a.k.a to d guys)..n for that, i'm really sorry..

p/s: stuck on idea..nk bg ape adiah besday nih??aish..hu3

feeling and mind??

get lost from my sight,

it was d phrase dat i wanna said long ago,

but it jus cant come out from my mouth,

n i jus can shout it inside my heart,

there's something block it,

there's something dat reasoning it,

whether i'm realizing or not,

day by day, 

hoping dat u soon will disappear inside my heart..

but, 

sometimes, its wrong for me to feel dat way,

without knowing ur true feeling,

making judgement by myself,

jus thinking of myself,

jus wanna make myself secure,

it doesn't feel right..

and also,

it sounds really easy to make u dissapear,

but i know dat its impossible,

hoping dat i soon will get anemia,

anemia dat only deleting d existence of u in my life,

its something dat only will appear in fantasy,

jus stop dreaming..

i know it,

i know dat its only my feeling,

i jus can stop thinking about it,

its not something dat i cant control,

jus sometimes d feeling out of control,

but i know dat i'll manage dat,

its only my mind,

if i can control my mind, 

everything is possible for me..