"Pemergian itu pasti"

Assalamualaikum wbt..its been a long time i didnt post any stories of mylife, so many things had happened n so many stories i wanna share..bad news n good news..

jam 500AM 26April2012, mama tercinta meninggalkn kami berlima sekeluarga..stage 4 of cancer, des's no other options, no other treatments dat the doctor 've to save her..there's nothing they can do..first time ak dengar y hospital not only mengubati pesakit but they also help pesakit from suffering till d patient die..like giving morphine??(some kind of medicine that help to release pain but ve' high impact such d patient will be in unconscious state)..

first time ak mngalami perasaan berada dlm situasi yg mana d death is so soon, pray to Allah that she died so that all d suffering will ending..its so hurt inside, went through d situation all over again..hospital, late night, crying, van jenazah, somebody dat was close to me, mandikn jenazah, ciuman terakhir seorg ank, tanam jenazah,and all dis thing happened again..but knowing dat its d only way of how d suffering will be ended, i'm grateful to Allah..

n knowing dat i can handle dis, i can go through this thing, i'm trying hard to keep on going..keep on building a strong heart..keep on believing des always reason, des always hikmah y its happen..

but i am grateful dat des someone always stand beside me n pray for me to b strong once again..

but sometimes ak terpkir adkah ak xlayak utk dpt kasih syg seorg ibu??tp ak cepat2 istighfar, setiap kejadian ade hikmahnya..jangn menentang qada' n qadar Allah..

cemburu bila kwan bercerita tentang ibu, how their mother treat them, cooked their fav food, hearing they stories about their crush, really make my tears rolling down..but its normal right??and i wish that my heart can stay strong, keep believing dats des always some treasure dat Allah had kept for me in spite of all this sad things happened..