just a simple song but full of meaning..

just wanna dedicated this song to my special one..=)

kau mau apa, pasti kan ku beri

kau minta apa, akan ku turuti

walau harus aku terlelah dan letih

ini demi kamu sayang

aku tak akan berhenti

menemani dan menyayangimu

hingga matahari tak terbit lagi

bahkan bila aku mati

ku kan berdoa pada Illahi

tuk satukan kami di syurga nanti

tahukah kamu apa yang ku pinta

disetiap doa sepanjang hariku

Tuhan tolong aku tolong jaga dia

Tuhan aku sayang dia

aku tak akan berhenti

menemani dan menyayangimu

hingga matahari tak terbit lagi

bahkan bila aku mati

ku kan berdoa pada Illahi

tuk satukan kami di syurga nanti

(Tuhan tolong aku juga jaga dia, Tuhan aku pun sayang dia)

aku tak akan berhenti

menemani dan menyayangimu

hingga matahari tak terbit lagi

bahkan bila aku mati

ku kan berdoa pada Illahi

tuk satukan kami di syurga nanti

stress

ok, now i'm stress..dont know y n dont know how..hu2..
feels like wanna cry alone in a dark room at the corner of the room..crying out loud..
feels like wanna doing something crazy dat satisfied my heart..
feels like wanna smack down someone..
feels like wanna get out of here..
feels like wanna scream out loud so dat everyone know wat i'm thinking about..

its feels miserable..
emotionally unstable..
damn dis headache!!

so, conclusion??
it just my thinking,
thinking from the tired body,
unstable mind,
uncontrolled mind,

so,
kewarasan akal, senipis kulit bwang keimanan,
menghalang...
from doing all dat crazy things..
i know who am i
i know wats d consequences
i know it
jus know it

so,
stop being selfish my dear
stop being childish
stop being spoiled kid
jus stop it!!

d answers is here..ho3

Assalamualaikum n greetings everyone..I just realize dat I'll post 2 entry every month..he3..punyerla pemalas kn..tp better than en. Tedy yg lngsung xpost pa pe since last 3,4 months ago..ha3..now, i had just having dinner (berbuka pose sempena hari Assyura) n waiting to go to bath n pray for ISyak..so, to kill some time, i'll just post some of my "diary" like entry k..(xtually d answer of my previous entry "i win or he win?")

so now, the answer is i did not win dat deal. dats it..ok, full stop..dont wanna to story anymore..hu3

(seriously frustrating)..The deal is dat if i or he win, we can request any of us to full fill any hope or wishes that we want.. so, the point is now that he win, at first I was very curious about his wish, or hope..cant predict wat he wan as usually he was very unpredictable (sometimes its trouble me but sometimes he's surprised me..he3). then, at last he told me to promise him 4 things..wanna know??well??ok la..

the first thing is:-

he want me to finish up my master deg.

-if he didn't ask me to finish dis master, i'll already promise to myself (end wat i've started by hook or by crook), so no hal la kn??he3

second thing is:-

he want me to promise that as how i'll be very busy like hell, i'll never forget about my family, which means i'll still have time to spend with my family.

- when he told me this thing, i was thinking does he got any wish to think of himself..y all d wishes he only think of me??does he want anything from me??n my tears start rolling down my cheek(wah, terharu dowh!!hu2..)

- but the point is, insyaAllah i'll never forgot my family, they always b number ONE in my heart. =) amin..

third thing is:-

he want me to never ever forget where am i belongs from even if my status was the highest one in the country or world..which means dat i'll never forget who i am. dalam bhsa ibunda nye, aku xkan lupa diri.

- he still think of me when he want this things..hu3..n still insyaAllah, i'll remember who i am now n who i am later even if i had become a very successful person..(budu tetap jd kegemaran..keh3, n ubi kayu rebus still become my fav).

the last one is which is the number fourth:-

he want me to tell him if i ever fall in love with someone else other than him..means that if i wanna break up wit him (which i pray dat will never happen but who r we to predict the future right?)..

- dat's the only thing that he wan me to promise about himself..(still wonder, is he not regret even if he can ask anything from me..ho3)

then, i make d promise to him..insyaAllah selagi masih ade iman di dada (even snipis kulit bwang), n kewarasan akal fikiran yg Allah bg, ak akn berusaha untuk tidak melanggar janji2 tu..doakan..

the last thing is, i did not regret dat i did not win d deal as ade hikmahnye..still got many times to make deals n i'll make sure dat i'll improve d winning (ade k word tu??keh3)

p/s: wonder if anyone would annoy if they read my entry??but it is my opinion or my writing, n i does not mind xtually if dis annoying u as u can leave this page anytime right??

i win or he win??

one week had passed..one week gak last meet with my 'sweet' prof..one week gak still ak ade tuk siapkn 'to do list' ak..wa3..hectic la next week..hu3..actually after meeting wit prof last week, baru ak sedar ak berada di mana skrg, n ape patut ak buat n ape is xtually my target dok cni..hu3..terlmbatkah bgku??insyaAllah x kn??fighting nis!!so, berborak2 la ngn my en.Tedy, dia kata demi utk kebaikn bersama, kami hanye contct one time a week, iaitu pd hari weekend shj..so, ak go on wit dat deal koz mmg ngah sempit pon skrg..ak xpk lain dah..ak pk duit jerrr..ha3..tp everyday, Ym still on..cett, xley blah..huahaha...biasala org ngah lovey dovey..cesss

then, critanye ak wat deal ngn beliau..disebbkn beliau mahu mngajakku keluar date for ujung mnggu ni, so, ak kenala siapkn 'to do list' ak b4 prof smpai..sebaiknye sebelom ak kluar date (ahad)..walaupon nk jupe prof ari selasa..kirenye, bersusah payah dahulu, berjimba2 kemudian..reward urself la beb..huahaha..so, by hook or by crook seriously need to finish dat 'list' k..meh nk catit ckit pe dia list ak,,,sile lihat di bwah yer puan2 n tuan2..keh3:-

1. prepare file for prof
2. costing every year
3. extend ethic-refer RMI
4. ELISA kit borrow from Saf
5. call new patient
6. gantt chart-refer Co-Sv
7. minute meeting report
8. find d old sample - refer kak tikah
9. fullfilled LPO, PO bla2 form
10. literature search-exon
11. Elisa learn

from 11 listed item, ak da berjaya siapkn 3 je list..wa3..sempatkah ak menang deal ni??xleh3..by hook by crook ak kena menang gak..he gotta make one of my wish come true..he3..dats d present n if i did not finish it, gotta kena denda..ak plak kena tunaikn 1 hasrat dia..wa3..xnk2,,so Hanis, pe ag??ko kn pantang dicabar kn??kena gak sahut cabaran nih..tp kn, byk2 benda listed tu, call patient ak plg xsuka..hu3..xreti la nk deal ngn org..communication skill ak mmg horrible..ho3..need to learn fast my dear..hu3

p/s: tp yg sedihnye mcm beliau xdpt j kuar ngn beta ari ahad ni sbb beliau ade date ngan member2 dia..hu3..
tp kn, rupe nye beliau mempunyai rs jelez gak ea??xtau la plak ak..ingt xde perasaan..he3..ade gak xsecure tu..ho3..tp kn awak, awak tau kn kite <3 kat awk..=P

big day in my life..

27th of October 2011.. Graduation day..holding d title of Alumni..d day dat i was fully completed my degree..Ma, adik da buktikan yg adik mampu masuk U n berjaya dpatkn segulung ijazah, adik da berjaya dapatkn ape yang Ma harapkn..if u r still here, this degree holder is just special for u..must u be crying to see me on d stage kn??i jus know it..but now, sitting at on d 'tikar sejadah', pray for ur safety 'there' talk to Allah swt, reciting Al-quran for ur 'bekalan amalan'.. hanya itu yg mampu Adik lakukan skrg..

cam ne nk cerita eh??too much story to be told but now dont know how to start wit..erm..mula2 kite cter psal absentees of my konvokesyen k..absentees nye adalah:-

• en. wan ahmad (we)
• pn. zainaba (mama)
• wan nor aliza (kak)
• en. hanafi (ayh ngah)
• en. anuar (paksu)
• pn. norasyikin (maksu)

nama2 di ats adalah org yg ak jemput utk dtg k mjlis ak..even mmg ak berharap pon diorg akn mai...reasonnye adalah:-

• we, mama n kak sbb sibuk ngan persiapan kak nk kawin..lgpon ak tau agk susah nk mai dr klntn..sape nk amik, nk overnite kat ne kn??so, ak mmg xnk nyusahkn diorg..diorg dtg, ak epi n syukur n if x mai pon ak xde la kisah mane pon sbb ak da phm..lgpon, graduation day is not something yg family ak pk "wajib kena attend" sbb time kak long ak n abg ak konvo dlu2 pon parent ak xp..so kirenye, konvo j pon, des nothing much la..so, xkesah pon..=)
• ayh ngah ak xdpt mai sbb dia kata dia ade hal ari khamis tu, n ak pon xnk disturb dia..so, its ok..=)
• paksu n maksu lak ak sj je ajk..mmg xde harap pon diorg nk mai sbb depa dok klntan gak..jd confirm2 r susah nk mai kn..so, no hal la xmai pon..=)

so, konklusionnye, yg mai hanye la..

muhammad alqaf bin azmi (en. Tedy)..tu pon, mybe sbb dia kesian kot kat ak sbb xde org pon dtg konvo ak..so, kirenye dia pengganti family ak..ak mmg xde la berharap pon dia mai (dlm hati, perghh ari2 berharap dia dpt dtg, tp sbb xmo berharap lebih, kang kecewa, so xde la tunjuk sgt suh dia mai..up to him)..tp klu family ak mai n dia pon mai, ak la org plg bahagia..leh la bg dia jupe terus parent ak..huahaha..cantekk x idea ak??tp harapan tggal harapan j la yer..xpe la..mybe ade hikmah..ho3

second time ak konvo..tp yg first konvo dlu xrasmi r..MRSM punye konvo, time tu kak ak j yg mai tgk..time tu pon ak xberharap sesapa mai tgk sbb ak phm..so, kirenye dis is d first time konvo scra rasmi nye..proses pengambilan jubah adlah satu proses yg amat memenatkn n men'stress'kan ak..klu bleh lpas2 ni time ak konvo lg(insyaAllah), ak xnk da beratur amik jubah..rela ak upah org amikkn jubah utk ak..seriously, thousands people beratur amik jubah pd hari yg sama..can u imagine d non-stop queue dat u ve to line up..

d next day, ak p sndri..jupe Mr. Tedy kat KL Sentral..Sara amik kat KTM Pdang Jawa..(thnks to her..really byk hutang budi ak ngn dia..xterblas kot..bukn kat dia je..family dia pon..hu3..xtau da nk bls camne..hanye Allah swt j mampu bls Sara..erm..hu3)..n bersalah kat kak Tikah sbb last minute plan p ngn dia cancel..hu3..ak xtau nk ckap cm ne ngn dia..serba salah pon ade tp Alhamdulillah dia memahami n walaupon kena marah ckit tp thnks kak Tikah for understanding my childish behaviour..he3..n sorry again for d cancellation..ho3..

pergila ak bersama ngn Mr. Tedy k Shah Alam,..bile jupe dia kat KL Sentral tu,xbudget pon dia bwak adiah tuk konvo ak..seriously, ak xberharap pa pe pon..dia mai konvo ak pon da kire syukur da..dah la ari sblum tu dia leh lg wat lawak yg xdpt dtg sbb mybe cuti dia xlulus..lg la ak sedey..hu2..smpaikn ak p usha member dia tnye tul2 sal cuti dia, ingtkn dia tipu bile dia kata dia dpt cuti n dpt mai..sbb ak xnk berhrap lebih..(serius, sikap ak ialah ak lebih suke expect yg benda yg plg buruk akn berlaku, so then ak leh get ready wit any bad things happen..xde la ak nk frust menonggeng kan..ho3)..but then, ak kena tipu lak ngn member dia..cess, mmg xley sekongkol la ngn ak dak Pqah tu..ho3..tp xpe la..benda da lepas, niat dia pon baik..ak pon bukn la jenis pendam n simpan ati sorang..forgive n forget..he3..

d present are..ehem3..

• my most fav thing..guess??gebuuu..montelll..gemokkkk..a.k.a Teddy Bear..yeaaaay!!!bertambah koleksi bntal peluk ak..huahaha..but then, dis is d most spesel one..keh3..tp once again, ak xtau mampu bertahan bape lama kegebuan, kecomelan, kegemukan teddy bear tu..depends on tuan yg bg kot..klu tuan dia tu xwat ak sakit ati, selamatla teddy bear tersebut..
• unexpected thing, lain dr yg ak budget..xsangka lak Mr. Tedy pon tau taste ak cm ne..ho3..satu set rantai perak skali ngn subang..speechless, ak xbudget pon akn dpt byk present lam 1 msa..hu2..sedih n terharu..dia bg tedy bear tu pon ak dok pk da bape la blnje dia abiskn nih..aish, bersalah ak wase..pastu tmbah ngn rantai lak..hu3..i'll promise, i'll treasure it Mr. Tedy..hu3
• lastly coklat to share with cik Siti Sarah..3jenis coklat..lollipop,toblerone n lupe da 1 ag..bersama ngn key chain hp teddy bear comel..da slmat mkn ngn Cik Sara, n bear tu ak wat sngkut kat phone..he3..

adiah2 awk, sy akn treasure them..=) 

bile smpai kat cna, ak tggal kn en. Tedy ak tu ngn family Sara..pndai2 la dia survive..he3..i know dat i can trust him..keh3..pastu ak n member2 ak pon bersiap2 la..pkai jubah, beratur n bla bla bla..no giliran ak 309, so antra terawal la..overall 1325 xsilap ak la..stat dr kul 2 lebih2 cam tu, abis kul 5 lebih2 cam tu..cuak ah time amik skrol(bukn skrol senarnye tp mcm buku file cm tu..xtau la pe benda namenye) kat pro canselor..tp ak go on gak..jln ngn penuh keyakinan, maniskn muka n senyum n amik n blah..jln ngn penuh tata tertib..keh3..dah la x p time raptai..mmg ikut org depan je..tgk diorg amik cam ne..then, tamat sudeh episod konvo ak..slepas bergmbar2 ngn kwn2..tp yg sedeynye xsume member ak dpt jupe..ramai giler org..da mcm semut da ak tgk..huahaha..pastu masa mghrib baru la bertolak pulang..singgah KL sentral, mkn2 ngn En. Tedy, pastu baru la pulang ke rumah d Sg Buloh..=) 

a huge applause n spesel thanks:-

• to en radzi rahmat sbb sudi mnjemput sy di stesen komuter..follow sy dr blakang ngn motor sbb sy takut bwak motor sorng2 pulang k kolej kediaman..tp xsangka plak dia bwak geng dia skali..berkonvoi la ak 4 buah motor, ngn 8 org dak laki..ho3..my bodyguards..he3..thnks guys..=)
• very special thanks to Mr. Tedy sbb sudi dtg konvokesyen sy, kehadiranmu amat berharga(tp klu title kite di'upgrade' lg berharga..i tggu konv master i plak yer Mr. Tedy tuk tukar title tu..he3)..n sbb bg adiah yg x kupinta, n x kuharapkn..smpaikn sy speechless n never thought dat u r so romantic (must i say dis word??blushingg..hu3)..time ksih byk2 tau awk..sy <3 awk..

kite terharu sgt2 ngn awk..hu3

• to Sarah n family, very big2 thanks n unrepay debt..rs syukur sgt2 kenal mu Sarah..slalu tolong ak..family mu pon sama..hu3..ak da xtau nk bls budi sepmu cam ne..ngn mak mu belikn bunga tuk ak..ngn bg tumpang kete..p amik, p antar k komuter n budi2 sebelom2 nih..hu3..insyaAllah, klu mu susah time ak senang, ak tolong mu stkat mana ak leh tolong..hu3..jasamu akn dikenang smpai bile2 sarah..hu3..

time kasih to sarah n family

• to my family kat kg..sy tau family sy mesti frust sbb xleh mai sbb time master nnti, insyaAllah diorg nk mai..sy phm ade kesulitan xleh mai..n sy tau diorg doakan sy selamat2 sume nye..time kasih buat arwah ma yg lahirkn Adik, besarkn, berikan ksih syg, didik Adik..n tuk We yg susah pyah cri rezeki tuk jaga, sara belajr..sume kejayaan Adik dpt bukn tuk adk sorg je..insyaAllah, adk xkn lupekn jasa sume org yg susah pyah tolong adk selama ni..adk syg korang sume..lov u oll..=)
• lastly, to all yg terlibat scra langsung or tidak..klu da pa pe xpuas ati ngn sy, kite bincang luar blog eh..he3..=)

p/s: ape la nk bg kat en. Tedy time dia konvo eh??i'm thinking n planning..ho3

updated...

meh kite amik penyapu, mop, duster and stuff yg same waktu dgn nye tuk sapu sawang2 y pnuh kat blog ak nih..ha3..lame kot xupdate stories, xde mood xtually, mls nk mngarang n xde masa sgt..tp sbbkn jelez tgk sume member ak update stories, so, ak dgn pnuh sedaya upaya merajinkn tgn tuk menaip sambil tggu agar2 ak msak..ha3..(bleh diterime k??ho3)..

well, d story begins here..dlm buku cerita kanak2 zaman dolu2 ak baca dia tulis lagu ni nk mula story, so ak ciplak la ea..(kena buat citation nih, nnti kena saman..ho3)..(Cinderella, 1950)

"Once upon a time, there was a happy-go-lucky girl lived in a small town in d middle of a well-known city. The girl was an optimistic person(katanye member gewe ak..). She lived with her closed friend to finished her task dat she decided to get involve with. Although she was only in her sweet 21 years old, but her face look older than dat(ak rs sbb ak bergaul ngn org lebih tua kot..hopefully when i gets older, my face still younger..awet mude..ha3).  In d middle of her task, she gets lots n lots of experiences, and got to hang on to finish her task..(sbb motto ak skrg ialah "finished what u have started and be enjoy wit ur work"..so, kirenye if ak tension thap dewa skalipon, i need to enjoy jugak..sbb life cannot b turn back..keep on going, so that, there's nothing will u make u regret after dis..he3). So, conclusion of d story, u need to keep on reading dis page to will happen to d future of dis girl. The love, life, studying and oll stuff dat will happen to dis girl. Stay turned guys..he3"

Baru aku tau:

• how to pump air of ur car tire -  u know dat gurls are very poor at this mechanic stuff. All they know is how to ride it, use it but never think the maintenance of all dis thing. So do I, baru ak tau y mmg tercatit kat tayar kete max pressure yg dia leh terima..klu mcm kete Kelisa Sara, 44psi = 300kpa. But jgn la plak bubuh se max yg mungkin. Just from range of 28psi-35psi, da ok da kot..but make sure dat yg angin tayar depan more than tyre blakang. sbb depan is more heavy as d engine give more weight. so, baru ak tau.

• how to write meeting minutes..1st time ak become d minutes writer meeting between me and all the supervisors and researchers. Perghhh..mmg rs nk beli time tu jugak recorder..record ape yg diorg ckap..xsempat kot..then, got d format n all stuff..

• mcm mana nk buat agar2 santan yg ade 2 lapis tu..yg biasa org jual time bulan2 pose..rupenye senang jer..even klu guna santan serbuk pon leh buat tau..cume kacau telur n serbuk santan n air, pastu masuk je lam agar2 tu..tggu mendidih, pastu keraskn..siap..he3

• jalan drp sg buloh nk p ke shah alam..by car n motorbike..but need to practice more sbb still xbape nk ingt ag..ho3
• jalan drp sg buloh ke Giant Kota Damansara..ni hasil drp ak jln2 ngn kak tikah..so, dpt ler ingt jln..senang je upenye..nnti nk blja p d curve n one utama la plak..he3

ak rs ckup stkat tu je la kot..tetiba ak teringt esk ak meeting ngn Dr. Hoh(co-SV ak nk bincang sal budgetting), ak xprepare ag..wa3..da ngntok..cam ne nih..ho3

till next time..da..

p/s: Mr.Tedy, take good care of urself tau..dont b tension2 in ur work..n thnks

degree..master..PHD???

PHD = Permanent Head Damage = Pizza Hut Delivery (katanye Co-Supervisor aku)..he3..xtau la ak komen ape..keh3..

tapi yg sebetulnye adalah Ph.D = a doctorate of philosophy..berjayakah ak nk dpatkn title tu??buat master ni pon rs da nk tunggang terbalik da..he3..tp bak kata org, bile da decide tu, keep on going..mesti ade hikmah kn sbb ape Allah SWT bg kat kite benda tu..so, believe in Him..Dia tahu ape yg terbaik tuk kite..so, keep on going k..(xtually bukn benda ni ak nk ckap senarnye..he3)

d real topic is, ak nk cter sal program master ak kat cni..cam ni ceritanye, bile ak tgk balik diari ak buat msa darjah 6 dolu2 kan, mmg lam plan ak nk smbung master ni..tp samada ak kawin dlu or smbung dlu..so, konklusi mmg ak smbung dlu..he3..tp seriously mmg unplanned la waktu deg ak nk smbung..sbb tu, duit PTPTN mmg ak xsave pon..hu3..(nyesal giler..tu la pngajaran yg plg ak dpt bab2 duit..simpan time tgh kaye..nnti bile da sesak mcm ni, mula la serabut pk kat mane nk cilup duit..hu3)..

ak bersyukur sgt2 ak bleh adapt kat cni, even batch ak sumenye ak xkenal..sume budak MLT (medical lab technologist, seriously xpenah ak dengr ade koz tu kat puncak alam)..tp Alhamdulillah, diorg ni sgt2 mesra, so dgn cepatnye ak leh adapt ngn diorg..tp yg kureng syoknye, ramai la plak laki dr pompuan, dr 9 orang yg dpt, 3 org j pompuan..so, pndai2 la ak adapt..keh3..but dey all really sporting..credits to Pyan a.k.a Sufian Hamid (jiran ak kat workstation, muka mcm budak2..ak konfius dia tua or muda dr ak..ha3..really admire doraemon..), Radzey a.k.a Radzi Ahmad (pakar komputer, easy to mintak tolong n sporting amat, ni details on him, ni pon ak konfius muda or tua dr ak..ho3), Famy, Fazli, Radzi Rahmat a.k.a Double R, Safrizal (diorg ni pon ramah gak..kirenye ak leh wat kawan la..he3)..dats ol d guys..now d gurls lak ade 2 org jek, Hanis Saimin (dia pon name hanis gak, so kirenye ak xley nk dipanggil hanis, si dak Pyan n Fazli tukar name ak jd Wanis..ikut korunk la..i xkesah asalkn jgn pggil pelik2 da la ea..) n Ajie a.k.a Nura'zimaturrahmah (sorry if spelling not rite)..diorg ni baik n ak ley adapt ngn diorg..suke2..=)..n also to mazni n faezah, really nice to know u oll..hope lots of memories will tercipta when we oll complete dis master deg..Aminnnn....

next grateful was d senior is pretty nice..esp sorang ni..ak pggil dia kak tikah (ade post sal dia lam entry ak b4 dis)..ni details on her (sorry kak tikah, promoting ur blog..he3)..at first i thought bad of her..first impression dat i had on her is "kerek nye akak nih, cam ne la ak nk mintak tolong nih..hu3"..but after a week i knew her, she's really cool..its like if "xkenal maka xcinta"..cam tu la..seriously really grateful to her, byk ilmu n maklumat ak dpt dr dia..if she's not around, mybe terkapai2 gak kami2 sume..he3..so, if she read dis, i would like to thanks her very much, really appreciate wat u ve done, n hope u will keep it..nnti sy pon nk jd mcm akak if ade junior baru masuk nnti..he3..n to kakak2 senior yg lain pon, diorg byk gak membantu..trima ksih gak tuk diorg..(kak farah, akak dedey, kak suhana, kak Illa, kak Remey, kak Wani, kak Yati, kak Zana n others..)

dats oll dat i wanna share as i've been a month n plus2 here..got to adapt really quick (matila ak if Prof tau ak still merangkak ag nk adapt..ho3)..proposal need to finish, LR is on going, labwork still mastering, lots2 more need to learn..

p/s: needs to understand guys i think..so dat no more heartbreak..ho3..