degree..master..PHD???

PHD = Permanent Head Damage = Pizza Hut Delivery (katanye Co-Supervisor aku)..he3..xtau la ak komen ape..keh3..

tapi yg sebetulnye adalah Ph.D = a doctorate of philosophy..berjayakah ak nk dpatkn title tu??buat master ni pon rs da nk tunggang terbalik da..he3..tp bak kata org, bile da decide tu, keep on going..mesti ade hikmah kn sbb ape Allah SWT bg kat kite benda tu..so, believe in Him..Dia tahu ape yg terbaik tuk kite..so, keep on going k..(xtually bukn benda ni ak nk ckap senarnye..he3)

d real topic is, ak nk cter sal program master ak kat cni..cam ni ceritanye, bile ak tgk balik diari ak buat msa darjah 6 dolu2 kan, mmg lam plan ak nk smbung master ni..tp samada ak kawin dlu or smbung dlu..so, konklusi mmg ak smbung dlu..he3..tp seriously mmg unplanned la waktu deg ak nk smbung..sbb tu, duit PTPTN mmg ak xsave pon..hu3..(nyesal giler..tu la pngajaran yg plg ak dpt bab2 duit..simpan time tgh kaye..nnti bile da sesak mcm ni, mula la serabut pk kat mane nk cilup duit..hu3)..

ak bersyukur sgt2 ak bleh adapt kat cni, even batch ak sumenye ak xkenal..sume budak MLT (medical lab technologist, seriously xpenah ak dengr ade koz tu kat puncak alam)..tp Alhamdulillah, diorg ni sgt2 mesra, so dgn cepatnye ak leh adapt ngn diorg..tp yg kureng syoknye, ramai la plak laki dr pompuan, dr 9 orang yg dpt, 3 org j pompuan..so, pndai2 la ak adapt..keh3..but dey all really sporting..credits to Pyan a.k.a Sufian Hamid (jiran ak kat workstation, muka mcm budak2..ak konfius dia tua or muda dr ak..ha3..really admire doraemon..), Radzey a.k.a Radzi Ahmad (pakar komputer, easy to mintak tolong n sporting amat, ni details on him, ni pon ak konfius muda or tua dr ak..ho3), Famy, Fazli, Radzi Rahmat a.k.a Double R, Safrizal (diorg ni pon ramah gak..kirenye ak leh wat kawan la..he3)..dats ol d guys..now d gurls lak ade 2 org jek, Hanis Saimin (dia pon name hanis gak, so kirenye ak xley nk dipanggil hanis, si dak Pyan n Fazli tukar name ak jd Wanis..ikut korunk la..i xkesah asalkn jgn pggil pelik2 da la ea..) n Ajie a.k.a Nura'zimaturrahmah (sorry if spelling not rite)..diorg ni baik n ak ley adapt ngn diorg..suke2..=)..n also to mazni n faezah, really nice to know u oll..hope lots of memories will tercipta when we oll complete dis master deg..Aminnnn....

next grateful was d senior is pretty nice..esp sorang ni..ak pggil dia kak tikah (ade post sal dia lam entry ak b4 dis)..ni details on her (sorry kak tikah, promoting ur blog..he3)..at first i thought bad of her..first impression dat i had on her is "kerek nye akak nih, cam ne la ak nk mintak tolong nih..hu3"..but after a week i knew her, she's really cool..its like if "xkenal maka xcinta"..cam tu la..seriously really grateful to her, byk ilmu n maklumat ak dpt dr dia..if she's not around, mybe terkapai2 gak kami2 sume..he3..so, if she read dis, i would like to thanks her very much, really appreciate wat u ve done, n hope u will keep it..nnti sy pon nk jd mcm akak if ade junior baru masuk nnti..he3..n to kakak2 senior yg lain pon, diorg byk gak membantu..trima ksih gak tuk diorg..(kak farah, akak dedey, kak suhana, kak Illa, kak Remey, kak Wani, kak Yati, kak Zana n others..)

dats oll dat i wanna share as i've been a month n plus2 here..got to adapt really quick (matila ak if Prof tau ak still merangkak ag nk adapt..ho3)..proposal need to finish, LR is on going, labwork still mastering, lots2 more need to learn..

p/s: needs to understand guys i think..so dat no more heartbreak..ho3..

first time after declare...

yesterday it was..d first time we meet after i know his feeling..its had been 2 years that i didn't meet him..perasaan usah ckap r..sume ade..bercampur baur..seb baik xkena heart attack..ha3..how i'm gonna start eh??well, kitrg decide nk jupe lam last week r koz ak tnye dia bila nk jupe..then, he said that a.s.a.p la bcoz nnti dia nk wat part time, so takut xde msa nk jupe nnti..ak pon pk punye pk..ujung mggu ni la kirenye..sbb dis friday(d next week), ak nk p beraya umh kak tikah(senior ak kat sg buloh)..sabtu ahad myb nk rilek2 je..then, it was decided..ari ahad, koz ari sabtu msing2 ade hal..ak nk p jupe reen n fatin, dia lak nk p beraya umh member dia..so, ahad is d day..

   

      perasaan da xsabar da..tp hari dilalui ngn biasa2 je(kontrol yg mane ptut)..hi3..pastu bila ari sbtu menjelang, ak hang out ngn kak tikah n kak wani(member kak tikah, now my member also) kat mid valley..lepak kat MPH, dr kul 12 smpai kul 4..kagum x??ak mmg spesies hantu buku gak r..agpon kat MPH tu, syok r suasana nk bca buku selain dr KINOKUNIYA(kat KLCC)..dan memandangkn ak xde duit nk beli buku skrg, so, spend all my time reading d books..tp ak berjaya abiskn 1 buku je pon..ha3..panduan becinta..tajuk dia "semurni kasih Adam, setulus cinta Hawa" kot..lupe da..but d story relate to kajian laki n pompuan n jugak ade info from Al-Quran..so, drpd buku tu, ak dpt 1 info ni..kite ni becinta ade 4 stage sebenarnye..xkesah la bg yg msih bercinta or psangan da kawin..

• stage 1 (tak mencintai n tak peduli)

• ni masa mula2 kenal psngan..kirenye kite n dia just biasa2 j..xkesah pon sal dia..dia hal dia kite hal kite....

• stage 2 (tak mencintai tp peduli)

• situasi ni pabila dia da jd memebr rapat kite da..kite care psal dia, slalu amik tau sal dia tp kite xcintakn dia..kirenye lam prose mngenali la kot..hi3

• stage 3 (mencintai n peduli)

• ni pabila dilamun cinta..mmg tangkap cintun abis r..tahap cemburu, tahap syg melebihi segalanye..berada di stage ni..ini adalah stage bhaya r..salah skit j, mmg mnguji..kontrol psagan pon kat stage ni gak, kite kureng percaya kat psngan kite..(ak skrg brada di stage ni kot..sbb ak still rs kureng pecaya kat dia tp wat bodoh je..doa2 mudah2an xde pe yg teruk terjadi..hu3)

• stage 4 (mencintai tp tak peduli)

• thap ni adalah thap yg paling secure..sbb kite da mmg pecaya 100% kat pasangan kite..kite da leh let go da dia..tp thap kesetiaan tu mmg berada thap plg tggi..kirenye dia percaya yg kite setia kat dia n sebaliknye..kite xpeduli sal dia mksudnye kite da xkontrol dia but we do really lov him..

pastu, bile da abis lepak, date la plak ngn reen..updating stories(as usual for d gurls but guys also like updating stories..info from my mr.tedy..ha3) ..talk2 til 7Pm, jupe fatin lak..talk2 lagi, pastu last2 after mgrib ketemu balik ngan kak tikah n kak wani..about 9.30PM ktrg pon balik la..he3

mlm tu kalut ak pk, nk pkai baju ape la..nk pkai tudung cam ne la..aish..susah tul bile nk appearance menarik dpn org kite syg nih..(mcm p interview jupe mak mertua lak..ho3)..so, last2 pakai je blouse(ak rembat from my sis), jeans(mmg lam pemikiran pon..), selendang(rembat sarah punye), sandal pon sarah punye(sbb sandal ak da mcm nk putus, xkn nk pkai sport shoes lak, xmsuk la ngn tema ke'lady'an ak ari tu..ha3)..mlm tu xbape lena nk tido (ak slalu gtu, if ade benda penting esknye, mula la bwak lam mimpi pastu confirm xlena tido or dpt nitemare..h03)..lpas subuh, terus da xtido da..habiskn masa online, basuh baju, bla bla bla..last2 lam kul 11 ak, sarah, kak zana n kak yati pon p la ke destinasi date ak..ONE UTAMA..(pe mcm??ramai x bodyguard ak??tp last2 jln berdua gak ngn Mr.tedy tu..ho3)..

        then, bile da smpai tu..ehem3..mula la berpeluh2 tgn ak..berdebar giler..xtau nk kata pe..jupe di aras 2 kat wing mane ntah kat one utama tu..sara yg first perasan kehadiran dia..tnye kat ak..bila ak nmpak, terus rs nk sembunyi blakang sara..wa3..takut giler kot..xtau nk kata ape..meng'cool' down perasaan difficult thing to do when in front of ur love ones..tp kontrol2 beb, ne leh gelabah xtentu psal kn..so, berlagak kool..tegur2 sape, kenalkn 'body2 guard' ak..then, dia tnye nk wat pe..so, dipendekkn cerita, kak yati, kak zana, n sara p tgk wyg cter 'Final destination 5"..ak nk tgk tp ats byk reason, ak pon xtgk la..salah satu sbbnye, ak nk borak lama2 ngn Mr. Tedy(lpas rindu..kononnye..he3)  n byk ag sbb yg lain..=)

          ktrg p makn dlu, pastu jln2 kat MPH(ak rs ak antu MPH kot..ha3)..pastu solat zohor, pastu teman dia p beli brang2..well, erm..seyes lain giler ak rs..(tp depan dia, still berlagak macho..keh3)..tp kn, klu nk ckap dia dulu n dia skrg, dia skrg lebih gentleman, more matured, more berkepimpinan (seyes, ak rs secure when he beside me)..tp kn(still tp tu..he3)..dia lebih mesra alam (means ak takut dia layan pompuan lain pon same, then ak gak la yg mkn ati..hu3)..sbb tu buat ak terpk, bgus gak ktrg dok jauh2, xde la ak tau dia asyik jupe pompuan lain, jupe pon xde la kerap sgt, uji kesetiaan kami..well, mungkin ade hikmahnye..so, let time decide it..for now, i'll just pray d best for us..mintak2 jodoh kami hingga k syurga n hidup di jalan yg diredhai Allah..

p/s: kagum giler cincin yg ak bg kat dia tul2 muat kat jari manis dia even ak main beli j cincin ari tu..he3..(apakah tndanye???)..kite da rindu kat awk..pe kes ni??ho3

doa panjang jodoh..

Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang……

Ya Allah…
Seandainya telah Engkau catatkan…
Dia milikku, tercipta buatku…
Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku…
Titipkanlah kebahagiaan antara kami…
Kukuhkanlah ukhwah Islamiyah kami…
Agar kemesraan itu abadi…
Ya Allah…
Ya Tuhanku yang Maha Mengasihi…
Seiringkanlah kami melayari hidup ini…
Ke tepian yang sejahtera dan abadi…
Istiqamahkanlah kami ya Allah…
Demi meneruskan perjuangan kami dalam medan dakwah yang penuh cabaran ini…
Moga putra-putri kami bisa menjadi muslimin dan muslimat…
Pendokong jamaah, penggerak Islamiyah…
Tetapi ya Allah…
Seandainya telah Engkau takdirkan…
Dia bukan milikku…
Bawalah dia jauh dari pandanganku…
Luputkanlah dia dari ingatanku…
Dan peliharakanlah aku dari kekecewaan…
Jika aku gagal menangkis kekecewaan itu…
kuatkan lah hati ku Ya Allah..
Pelihara dan mantapkankanlah imanku…
Moga kekecewaan itu tidak melaghakn diriku dan menjauhiMu…
Ya Allah ya Tuhanku yang Maha Mengerti…
Berikanlah aku kekuatan…Menolak bayangannya jauh ke dada langit…
Agarku sentiasa tenang…
Walaupun tanpa bersama dengannya…
Ya Allah yang tercinta…
Pasrahkan aku dengan takdir-Mu…
Aku redha dengan segala ketentuan dari-Mu…
Inilah ujian buatku…
Sesungguhnya apa yang telah Engkau takdirkan…
Adalah yang terbaik untukku…
Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Mengetahui…
Segala yang terbaik buat hamba-Mu ini…
Ya Allah…
Cukuplah Engkau sahaja yang menjadi pemeliharaanku…
Di dunia dan akhirat…
Dengarkanlah rintihan dari hamba-Mu yang daif ini…
pandulah ak k jalan yg benar,
jalan yg Engkau redhai, Janganlah Engkau biarkan aku sendirian…
Di dunia ini mahupun di akhirat..
Maka kurniakanlah aku seorang pasangan yang beriman…
Agar aku dan dia sama-sama dapat membina kesejahteraan hidup…
Sama-sama dapat terus bergerak di dalam Jamaah Islam…
Andainya sudah ditakdirkan buatku…
Pendokong Jemaah bukan jodohku…
Mantapkanlah tarbiyahku…
Agar aku mampu membawanya bersama melalui liku perjuangan ini…
Sama-sama berusaha mendaulatkan Islam…
Ke jalan yang Engkau redhai…
Dan kurniakanlah padaku keturunan soleh dan solehah…
Yang pastinya menjadi aset utama penegak syiar agama-Mu…
Ya Allah …
Redhakanlah perjuangan kami…
Berikanlah kami kebahagiaan di dunia dan akhirat…
Dan peliharakanlah kami dari azab api Neraka…

Ameen…ameen Ya Rabbal a’lameen

alhamdulillah..all things was alrite..(i'm happy..)

     tarikh keramat 10 ogos 2011..tul k keramat??keramat la kot bg ak..ha3..after a long long time waiting for an answer, at last ak tau jugak perasaannye..all my waiting was became to an end..he confess to me..walaupun unexpected but seriously i'm damn happy..ha3..cannot say with a word..u know dat when ur confession is not one sided??u lov him n he also lov u??tu la org kata, cinta tu satu perasaan yg xleh digambarkn dgn kata2..hihi

      but i once had read a novel that when its said in d ending like dis "the princess n the prince then live happily ever after", before this i think dat all d problems and obstacles are settle and they all live happily ever after which means that their story was ended. but now, after i had read that novel, the ended of their sorrow is just a beginning for another sorrow..it means dat the life will not just ended like dat..there's lots of another stories..ended dis story, begins new story..our life is not a fairy tale, jus accept that..=)

it just depend on us how to handle it..either handle it with care or jus smashed it to the wall..as u know dat heart is fragile thing..ha3

     another thing that realize about guys is they dont like to talk about their feelings..(xpecially my Mr.Tedy)..seriously, its very hard to understand them..so, truthfully some of my behavior may really hurt his feeling but i didnt know dat..but when it comes to me, i will confess to him if dat des something hurting my feeling..if not, i felt something is not rite n mula la episod moody bermula..ha3..(but really poor to him a.k.a to d guys)..n for that, i'm really sorry..

p/s: stuck on idea..nk bg ape adiah besday nih??aish..hu3

like a fool

Like an idiot, 

why didn't I know

Like an idiot, 

why did I let you go?

Like an idiot, 

my heart cries slowly

I know now

My love is only you

Even if my eyes look for you

Even if my heart pressures me

I didn't believe that it was love

I believed that 

I was lonely and had to lean on you

Like an idiot, 

why didn't I know?

Like an idiot,

why did I let you go?

Like an idiot, 

my heart cries slowly

I know now

My love is only you

Let's not act like idiots

Let's not heart ache alone

When tears fell because of the pain

I'd become upset with my heart for being so weak

Like an idiot, 

why didn't I know?

Like an idiot, 

why did I let you go?

Like an idiot, 

my heart cries slowly

I know now

Do you know, 

that you are my love?

Do you know, 

that you fill my heart?

Like an idiot, 

I've just found out now

You, I call you

Because without you, 

I cannot live on

feeling and mind??

get lost from my sight,

it was d phrase dat i wanna said long ago,

but it jus cant come out from my mouth,

n i jus can shout it inside my heart,

there's something block it,

there's something dat reasoning it,

whether i'm realizing or not,

day by day, 

hoping dat u soon will disappear inside my heart..

but, 

sometimes, its wrong for me to feel dat way,

without knowing ur true feeling,

making judgement by myself,

jus thinking of myself,

jus wanna make myself secure,

it doesn't feel right..

and also,

it sounds really easy to make u dissapear,

but i know dat its impossible,

hoping dat i soon will get anemia,

anemia dat only deleting d existence of u in my life,

its something dat only will appear in fantasy,

jus stop dreaming..

i know it,

i know dat its only my feeling,

i jus can stop thinking about it,

its not something dat i cant control,

jus sometimes d feeling out of control,

but i know dat i'll manage dat,

its only my mind,

if i can control my mind, 

everything is possible for me..

missing n tired thinking..

just arrived wednesday evening, now need to go dis sunday..perghh..better if i didnt going home on dat Wednesday if i know dat dis thing will happen..on friday last week, i got phone call from faculty of medic offering me to go to d interview pursue study there..bcoz of they called, my heart bcome so soft n make me wanna go to d interview..whether i can succeed or not wit d interview, doesnt really matter...i jus want d experienced of being interviewed..therefore, UiTM sg buloh become d final destination of my journey on sunday morning..taking bus at 10am in Nilam Puri, and safely arrived at 7PM in Klang, really tiring me..meeting wit Sarah there n get together wit her uncle, we went to d Sg Buloh..really thnks to them coz helping me..n i never can repay wat she had done for me..allowed me to stay at her room, accompanied me to d interview, hanging out at nite jus only to find McD n tickets, and all stuffs..thnks a lot yunk..sarangeaaa......

then, next evening was d interview session..i'm d 13th participant over 15 n they were arranged by d ranking of d pointer...so, can u guess wat is my pointer??better b unsaid..how embarrassed..huhu..starting at 330PM, my interview start at 7pm..can u imagine how many hours did i waited outside just to be interviewed??really disappeared all my nervousness n tiredness had conquered my body..huhu..but then, i just do my best n jus wait for d result till next week she said..already redha wit d result as i had done my best..=)

budget till next week, i will know d result but on friday evening, they called dat i succeed in d interview n shortlisted..n also i need to reported myself to them dis monday morning..jus when i stayed at home only 2 days, then need to go back to KL once again..arghh, little bit tension coz better if i'm just staying there..huhu..was indecisiveness whether should or should not i go..huhu..but now already bought ticket..so, just go la dear..do ur best..xtually little bit unsecured as my pointer is not as high as anyone else but also wonder why my fren dat got higher pointer than me did not succeed for d interview..mybe "rezeki dia bukn di ctu"..if i go tomorrow then, i'll need to prepare myself mental n physically as i know dat i need to independent and also i'm all alone..my fren dat also got dis chance did not wanna go..huhu..start fasting month there..wawa..so sad..huhu

its had been 3weeks since i didn't contact him..miss him so much..lots of thing had happened around me..wanna tell d story but gotta hold a promise..a promise made to myself n promise dat i made to him..