feeling and mind??

get lost from my sight,

it was d phrase dat i wanna said long ago,

but it jus cant come out from my mouth,

n i jus can shout it inside my heart,

there's something block it,

there's something dat reasoning it,

whether i'm realizing or not,

day by day, 

hoping dat u soon will disappear inside my heart..

but, 

sometimes, its wrong for me to feel dat way,

without knowing ur true feeling,

making judgement by myself,

jus thinking of myself,

jus wanna make myself secure,

it doesn't feel right..

and also,

it sounds really easy to make u dissapear,

but i know dat its impossible,

hoping dat i soon will get anemia,

anemia dat only deleting d existence of u in my life,

its something dat only will appear in fantasy,

jus stop dreaming..

i know it,

i know dat its only my feeling,

i jus can stop thinking about it,

its not something dat i cant control,

jus sometimes d feeling out of control,

but i know dat i'll manage dat,

its only my mind,

if i can control my mind, 

everything is possible for me..

missing n tired thinking..

just arrived wednesday evening, now need to go dis sunday..perghh..better if i didnt going home on dat Wednesday if i know dat dis thing will happen..on friday last week, i got phone call from faculty of medic offering me to go to d interview pursue study there..bcoz of they called, my heart bcome so soft n make me wanna go to d interview..whether i can succeed or not wit d interview, doesnt really matter...i jus want d experienced of being interviewed..therefore, UiTM sg buloh become d final destination of my journey on sunday morning..taking bus at 10am in Nilam Puri, and safely arrived at 7PM in Klang, really tiring me..meeting wit Sarah there n get together wit her uncle, we went to d Sg Buloh..really thnks to them coz helping me..n i never can repay wat she had done for me..allowed me to stay at her room, accompanied me to d interview, hanging out at nite jus only to find McD n tickets, and all stuffs..thnks a lot yunk..sarangeaaa......

then, next evening was d interview session..i'm d 13th participant over 15 n they were arranged by d ranking of d pointer...so, can u guess wat is my pointer??better b unsaid..how embarrassed..huhu..starting at 330PM, my interview start at 7pm..can u imagine how many hours did i waited outside just to be interviewed??really disappeared all my nervousness n tiredness had conquered my body..huhu..but then, i just do my best n jus wait for d result till next week she said..already redha wit d result as i had done my best..=)

budget till next week, i will know d result but on friday evening, they called dat i succeed in d interview n shortlisted..n also i need to reported myself to them dis monday morning..jus when i stayed at home only 2 days, then need to go back to KL once again..arghh, little bit tension coz better if i'm just staying there..huhu..was indecisiveness whether should or should not i go..huhu..but now already bought ticket..so, just go la dear..do ur best..xtually little bit unsecured as my pointer is not as high as anyone else but also wonder why my fren dat got higher pointer than me did not succeed for d interview..mybe "rezeki dia bukn di ctu"..if i go tomorrow then, i'll need to prepare myself mental n physically as i know dat i need to independent and also i'm all alone..my fren dat also got dis chance did not wanna go..huhu..start fasting month there..wawa..so sad..huhu

its had been 3weeks since i didn't contact him..miss him so much..lots of thing had happened around me..wanna tell d story but gotta hold a promise..a promise made to myself n promise dat i made to him..